hah, so the past few weeks, i've found out how shitty of "friends" i really have.  first of all, pretty much all of them come up with some stupid ass excuse as to why they cant hang out with me.  i'm not fuckin stupid, i knwo whats up....  its like, if im not worth the time for you, especially when i'm like pleading with you to come over becasue I am lonely, why cant you just come and hang out with me and keep me some company?  it seems that i am always the one that has to bend over backward for them...it has to be on "their time" or because they fear that they wont wake up on time for work, yet seeing that i am not stupid....i do find out that they go get drunk with others, that they are really hanging out with someone else, that its just that they dont want to hang out with me.  if im not worth hanging out, then whats the point in even calling me your friend?  i understand that my work schedule is shit, and im sure this is karma for all the times i've done it to people, but whatever...i never did it to any of my fuckin friends, only people that i didnt like.
these past few weeks have been really hard for me, and does anyone fucking care? absolutely not.  im getting so fed up with everyone, even Shawn....i just want to move somewhere where no one will know where i am, then fuckin have them worry about what happened to me.  this shits a joke.  hell, they probably wouldnt even know i was gone at the rate they are going.  im on a mission...i want to meet and make new true friends that will always be there for me as i will be there for them, unlike how it used to be that i would always have to be there for them.  people are such twisted ass mother fuckers in this world who are so fuckin selfish its ridiculous.  from now on, im gonna deal with being alone all the time...fuck it.  im not going to answer anyones calls anymore either.  i know none of my "friends" have my livejournal account, but if one of your bitch asses happens to read this, go fuck yourself you worthless poor excuse of a fuckin "friend"